Sunday, September 27, 2009

The Stages Of Grief

I was just reading about the 5 stages of grief...

Denial and Isolation:
At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.

The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.

Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"

The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.

This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.

I seem to be stuck. It's been 4 years since my Mom died and I'm still mostly angry with her, though I also get very sad and depressed. So I guess I'm going back and forth between Stage 2 and 4. When will number 5...the acceptance kick in? How can I learn to accept what has happened?

Friday, September 25, 2009

Full Heart

Wow. I'm just amazed at the generosity of others. My heart is so full today!

I just got a package in the mail from a fellow blogger. Someone I've never met before. She made a baby wrap and mailed one to me! How awesome! Thank you so very much, Misha Lee. You are one wonderfully generous Woman. :) I cannot wait to put my lil' babe in it! I'm so grateful!

Last night was my Mother Blessing. It was wonderful. Great friends, great food. laughter, blessings, beads...just fantastic. It was great being surrounded by so many wonderful woman. I got to snuggle some babies too, which was great!

I am feeling very blessed. Now I might cry..haha.

Sunday, September 20, 2009


I want this cute lil' dipe so bad!


Sleep would be nice.

Maybe in another 3 years.

Friday, September 18, 2009


He is the cutest stinkin' kid ever! I don't think I'm just biased, but it could be...hehe!

He has a little table that he stands on and calls his stage. He likes to put on performances for me. He is so funny! Great imagination, says the cutest things and is just so full of life. 3 has been quite fun and adventurous so far.

He had been begging to go to preschool for months and he really seemed to know what he was talking about. He told me he wanted to play with friends and make me things.
He'd see a school bus and say "yay! Now I can go to preschool!". He brought it up every day, several times a day. I started to feel bad that he wanted something so bad so I decided to look into preschools, still unsure. I made arrangements for a visit and off we went. When we got there they were getting ready for Circle Time...he went right up, sat down and joined in. He sang along with songs and everything. They sang a names song. They went around the circle and had each child take a turn standing in the middle of the circle while they sang a song about his/her name. When it cam Kieran's turn he went into the middle and started dancing along to them adorable! He just had a blast while he was there.
He did have an accident and the teacher handled it so well. It really set my mind at ease knowing how she handles situation. She was very caring and discreet.
So if all goes as planned he starts on Tuesday!! I'm going to cry, I know it. He's only 3 and I preschool had never even crossed my mind. It's only 2 hours a day, twice a he won't be gone for long. It's also a co-op, so if I can manage to make it work...I'll be volunteering every so often. I'm so excited for him!

Thursday, September 17, 2009


Since yesterday I've been having contractions...not the usual braxton hicks. I haven't really been timing them or anything, but they seem to be within 5-10 mins? They around my lower abdomen and in my back. They aren't super painful, but definitely don't feel good. I wonder if these are going to do anything, well I know they are doing something, but are they leading anywhere soon? Will I have Chloe soon or will I be having these contrax for another 3 to 4 weeks? I'm getting nervous. Deep breaths. I'll be 36 weeks on Saturday!!!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Baby Stuff

I've decided to make a list and separate things we need from things we want for baby

Car seat
Birth supplies

More Cloth Diapers
Moby Wrap

Okay, my brain must be fried from the day because I had a big list in my head and now can't think of anything! Ha!
Someone feel free to help me out. :P

I'm sure I'll be adding more as I think of them.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Mad World - Tears for Fears

Love the dancing in this...haha. I can totally see someone doing this dance at City Club(a club I use to frequent back in the day).

Friday, September 4, 2009

Getting so close!

Tomorrow I will be 34 weeks along. It's crazy how quickly this pregnancy has gone bye! I had a bit of a panic 2 days ago when I realized how soon Chloe could be here(Kieran was 2 weeks early). I've been having contractions like crazy. It's not the real deal, but they are getting more than uncomfortable, slightly painful lol, but no real pattern to them. I'm feeling lots of pressure so I'm wondering if she has dropped...or maybe it's just that she's gotten so big! She is running out of room! I've also been having what feels like menstrual cramps. I'll be sitting there and for a split second I'll get the thought that maybe I'm about to start, then quickly remember that I'm pregnant and that can't happen..hehe.
So my panic set in because we are not prepared yet, so very many things need to be done around here and we can't seem to get any of it done...not to mention everything keeps going wrong in the process and adding more stress. It's one after the other...could timing be any worse?

Nevin starts "school" on Sept. 8th! I'm pretty excited about this upcoming school year! I've gotten his homeschool shelf organized and have everything ready.
We have him signed up for a Homeschool gym class that he's excited about and we'll also be signing him up for a Mad Science class and swimming lessons(his fave)...he already takes guitar. I'll be doing some preschool work with Kieran, but we are pretty relaxed here and love the idea of natural learning so we'll be doing a lot of that.

We've got an exciting time ahead!!